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Tuesday Blues
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I'm a little tired today but that's no surprise since it's a work day. I find that I have too much going on in my life these days to get to bed at a reasonable time anymore. When you sit in the office until 7PM it doesn't give you much time in the evening to do much else before feeling like you 'should' be going to bed. The problem is that I know I should but usually don't which leaves me awake until 1, 2 or even sometimes 3AM before finally getting to sleep.
I'm not all that thrilled with my life at the moment. Somehow things seemed much better last year at this time but much has changed for both me and the rest of the world since then. I know I can't live in the past but it's difficult when you think things should get better over time, and they don't.
Times are tough and I can't say I haven't been impacted. I'm stressed out, moody and miserable that I have to work my ass off just to make ends meet these days. Come and gone were the days of irresponsible spending, travel and unmonitored finances. The move to Los Angeles has been a difficult once since Justin and I now have the overhead of an apartment as well as the mortgage payment on our home in Arizona. I know it's not a unique situation to us, but it's a first for us to feel this way and I'm not sure if things are really going to get better any time soon.
I guess I wish I would have made some different choices over the past few years, but again, I have to deal with the situation as it's now in front of me and do what I can to make the best of it.
I like living in Los Angeles, it's full of nearly everything I've wanted in a city, the only problem is that now I really can't appreciate it the way I might have given a different financial standing. I guess this is life right? Many of our parents were faced with difficult times and now it's the turn of my generation to experience. Knowing this doesn't make me feel any better. I do have some hope that things will slowly get better, as I need something to look forward too these days. Cheers.Labels: Lost in Los Angeles, Random Thoughts
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I Love The Weather In Los Angeles
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Are you kidding me with this ...
It was so hot in Phoenix this weekend and it's only May. I'm actually glad that for the first year in a long time (about 6 years to be exact) I'm not going to have to suffer through an entire Phoenix summer. I guess things are already looking up for me. Cheers!Labels: Los Angeles, Phoenix, Random Thoughts
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My Mom Took Over The House
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So yeah ... After spending the weekend back in Phoenix moving my Mom
into our old house ... She was effective at converting the house back
to almost exactly the same dated way it looked when we bought it 6
years ago. *eyeroll*
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Much On My Mind
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It's interesting how much my life has changed in just a few short months. I'm sitting here in the living room of our new 4th floor apartment with the sliding glass door to our balcony open, enjoying the cool night air, listening to the sounds of the city and looking out at the high rise apartments across the way on Barrington Street. It's a scene somewhat like this, which I've played in my mind for some time now, but not something which I expected this quickly.
I'll have to admit that I'm still a little shaken from the quick uprooting of my life from the suburbs of the Phoenix area to the city life of Los Angeles. It's not that that the change was unwanted, it was just unexpected. Unexpected and perhaps not on exactly my own terms which made the entire move a little more difficult. I've been playing the positive attitude, telling everyone how much I love it here, and how glad I am to finally be out of Phoenix, all the while masking the doubt and fear I'm keeping hidden inside myself. Don't get me wrong, I do really like it here and it is 10x better then Phoenix, but it's different and just a little overwhelming to say the least. I became very comfortable in Phoenix over the last 7 years, maybe too comfortable, and while I feel like I've been wanting to escape from there for a while now, I can't help to think that life was just simply easier in Phoenix.
I think Justin and I are both in the same situation here. We both know that Los Angeles is such a better place for us, but we're both nervous about the entire situation. Trust me, it was not easy to leave the comfort of our 4-bedroom home to move into a 2 bedroom apartment. Downsizing and community living is not an easy task after you're used to suburban living. The downsizing and the pure increase in basic living cost of being in a place like Los Angeles both weigh in heavily on our inability to feel completely comfortable in this city.
Like anything I suppose it's just going to take time. I am happy here, which is a good start. I guess it's better then being miserable, which I'm sure is probably the other possibility, but a pretty non-typical emotion for me. In the end, it doesn't really matter where I am, as long as I have Justin and Berg, I'm at home and I'm sure I'll start to feel like Los Angeles is home in no time. Cheers.Labels: Gay Life, Los Angeles, Lost in Los Angeles, Random Thoughts
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Photo of Justin and I from March
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I was looking through some photos from our Atlantis Caribbean Cruise aboard on the Celebrity Solstice in March and I found this one. I think it's a cute photo of Justin and I.Labels: Atlantis Gay Cruise, Justin Chanley
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Getting Settled in Los Angeles
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It's been a hectic few weeks here. Not only did Justin and I finally gather our belongings from our house in Phoenix, but we already moved into a different apartment in Los Angeles. I'm not sure what we were thinking but apparently our 4 bedroom house didn't consolidate down into a 1-bedroom apartment very well. After trying, and I do mean trying, to fit everything into the 1-bedroom, we found out a much larger 2-bedroom just up the hall from our apartment came available. It was perfect, so we jumped on it and took it, which means we once again had to move.
So with that said Justin and I have been spending the past 2 weeks between moving, unpacking and more unpacking. It's going to take some time, and we have a year that we're committed to here, so we're taking our time. I'll be glad when everything is done and we can just relax.
Other then that I'm still loving every minute of being in Los Angeles. I find new things to love about the city every day. I have quite a few stories already, but that will have to wait for another day. Cheers!Labels: Los Angeles, Random Thoughts
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Black Party at the Factory
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On Saturday May 2nd, Justin, Cody, Jenna Marx, Greg & I went to the Black Party at the Factory in West Hollywood with DJ Paulo spinning. It was of course a great time.
A friend of Cody's, who is a professional photographer, took some photos before the party ...
Rich, Cody & Justin before the Black Party
Jenna Marx and Cody
I have to say it's an interesting change to have so many options in your own city. I mean to be able to just go over to a club to see someone like DJ Paulo on a random night without it really being a special event is definitely one of the perks of living in a city like Los Angeles. Cheers.Labels: Black Party, Circuit Party, Los Angeles
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This is My Life ... Take it or Leave It.
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Well if you haven't been privy to what's been going on in my life over the past few months you're probably a bit lost. That's alright, because I think I'm a bit lost too. Hmmm Lost in Los Angeles ... maybe that will be my new blog title, but I digress.
Anyway here's the short and sweet of it all. Things have been going great for the past 2 years. I was working for myself, happy and living the dream. I, like many others, thought my business and my career were going to be recession proof. Perhaps someone forgot to tell that too my clients when business dried up in December. It wasn't the end of the world, but it was unexpected and a bit of a shock. So I was left at that time with a major decision to make. Go out and find new clients, or look for a full time job. Full time job you say? I know the horrors right? Well you have to do what you have to do when you have responsibilities to shoulder. Finding a full time job was going to be a shorter turnaround then looking for new clients in a recession.
I first thought what was happening was a bad thing and was very emotional about it all. Whoa is me, why me, all that. But now that I look back on everything that happened and I realize that things had to happen exactly they way they did in order for me to end up back in California, something Justin and I have both been longing for over the past few years. Back to a big city and back to a place for some reason just feels more comfortable to us. I was told by one of my clients, who I also consider a friend, that sometimes something which appears negative at first glance is often really a positive when the entire situation is reviewed. This couldn't be any further from the truth.
After deciding to look for a full time job and put myself back into the market I also decided to take a break from my blog and actually take it offline for a while. I didn't think it was appropriate material for potential employers to know about me before first meeting me. I've always been upfront, honest and out there about my life and feelings, but something that's not conveyed by just reading my blog is the fact that I'm also qualified and skilled in my field and I've spent too many years of my life building up experience and a good solid technical background to let it be ignored by a bad first impression sometime may derive after finding and reading my blog. I'd rather someone meet me first before they decide to make any judgements about my professional qualifications. Ideally I shouldn't care, but that's a discussion left for another day.
So I started my search and much to my dismay and perceived marketability, the search started out pretty slow. I was getting hits in Phoenix, but nothing substantial, and nothing with much interest to me. So after waiting out the holiday season and then looking around Phoenix for a few weeks, I felt it was time to expand my job search. What the hell I thought, I had nothing to loose, so I decided I was going to take a no-holds barred approach to my job search and explore options wherever they come up. I started talking to people in Washington D.C., Chicago, Boston and other cities throughout the United States. The job search started to look much more promising. I thought well hell if I'm getting all these hits outside of Phoenix, I might as well focus on somewhere I really wanted to be ... California. Justin and I had a long discussion and I decided to start seriously looking at jobs in San Diego, San Francisco and Los Angeles. I applied to a few jobs and much to my surprise I received a call from a recruiter with a position that fit my background so tightly it was almost as if it was tailored for me from the start. Long story short, after several conversations with this company, a face-to-face interview, reference checks and a personality test I received an offer and was on my way out to Los Angeles, and that's the story of how I got here.
With all that said, I can now say I'm actually very happy to be here in Los Angeles. When I said everything had to happen exactly as it did, I truly mean that otherwise I wouldn't have been able to gather the support of my family and friends to make a move of this caliber. I don't think it was divine intervention, because I don't really subscribe to that, but I do think a little bit of positive thinking didn't hurt.
The first questions everyone had on their mind were ... "What about Justin?", "What about Berg?", "What about your house in Phoenix?" As it turns out it's not really as complicated as we originally though it was going to be. Justin decided to speak with his management at BofA and immediately started pursuing the option to transfer to a position within the bank in Los Angeles. After a bit of back and forth, I'm happy to say that he was able to finally get the transfer approved and will be moving out to join me in Los Angeles in the matter of a few weeks. Berg will be coming out with Justin and as for the house, we've decided to keep it for the time being and just have my Mother move in there to take care of it for a while. It's a win/win situation for everyone.
I'm not going to say that the past 2 months haven't been difficult. Finding my way around a new city, and being without Justin and Berg have been really hard to stomach but unfortunately a necessary situation. Justin and I were willing to make the sacrifice in the short term in the hopes that everything would work themselves out in the long term, and that's exactly what appears to be happening.
So far I love Los Angeles, and I'm really looking forward to having Justin and Berg with me to start our new life in La La Land. It's going to be quite an adventure for us and hopefully will be a positive new time in our lives, something we both desperately need right now. So, I hope this entry answers a few questions and brings some clarity to what's been going on in my life lately. I'm looking forward to the future and continued writing. Cheers!Labels: Los Angeles, Lost in Los Angeles, Random Thoughts
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I'm Back.
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Yes it's true, I'm BACK!. There is so much to tell, so much to talk about, but all in due time. Let's just say that 2009 is setting itself up to be a very memorable year for me.
There have been a lot of changes in my life, including the fact that I'm now living in Los Angeles! Shocked? Yes me too too, sort of, but that's a long story better left for another day. All in due time.
With that said, I really wanted to redesign my blog before coming back online but with everything going on in my life at the moment I simply have not had time yet. I have decided that it's important to me to start writing again, so here I am and I'll eventually get to the redesign sometime this year.
So stay tuned and I'll fill everyone in on what's been going on in my life over the past few months very soon. Cheers!Labels: Random Thoughts
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Thursday, January 01, 2009 |
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Taking It Offline For a While!
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I would like to take a moment and thank everyone who, over the past 10 years, has ever stopped by this website to read my blog and follow my life. Started by me in 1994 as a technical test site, this website eventually evolved to become a chronicle of my life and gave hundreds of daily readers a little insight into the mind of Rich Brown.
I've hit a point in my life where I've decided to embark upon some major changes, both personally and professionally. It was a difficult decision for me to make, but at the present time I've decided to temporarily shutdown my blog while I start out on this new chapter in my life. I thank you for your patience & understanding during this time and please check back periodically for the release of my new blog and the complete redesign of my website.
If you have any questions or comments please email me at rich@cyrek.net and I’ll be more then happy to get back to you as soon as possible.
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Friday, December 19, 2008 |
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All Good Things Must Come To An End
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Well like I fool I put all my eggs in one basket. I've been working for one main client over the past two years and on Tuesday I was told there was no more work. It wasn't all that unexpected, I just didn't think it would happen before Christmas like this. Now I'm sitting here scrambling to find a new contract or a new position to hold me over. On the positive side there seem to be many technology contracts available for someone with my advanced skill set. I'm probably going to have to take a position out of Phoenix for a while if not permanently which is absolutely fine with me anyway because I've been looking for a change at this point anyway. I'm just irritated this happened right before Christmas. Cheers. Labels: Random Thoughts
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Saturday, December 13, 2008 |
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I Love My Blog But ...
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I'm ready for a change. This is somewhat symbolic of the way I've been feeling towards just about everything these days, but I think I'll start with my blog and take if from there. Obviously as I said the other day I haven't been posting that much over the past month or two, but as of late I've been in the mood to write, I'm just ready for an overhaul of the website and blog template. Sometimes I wish I were unskilled and lazy because then I could just pop in a new blog template and be done with it, but unfortunately as a former web developer, I take pride in coming up with my own website design and I also use it as somewhat of a showcase of the fact that I still have some web design skills. Doing this design takes some thought, time and energy, none of which I've had for any personal technology projects once I'm finished with my normal work day. Anyway, work with my clients might be facing a bit of an unfortunate slowdown here soon, so I'll have a little time to get back in front of the computer for some personal time to redesign my website and the template that drives my blog. Cheers! Labels: Random Thoughts, Websites
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