Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Tuesday, December 05, 2000
Not Sure What I Want
I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what I want in my life right now. After everything that I've gone through with my last relationship I don't know if I'm ready to handle a long term relationship with someone. I keep asking myself all these questions but I'm not sure that I'm giving myself the correct and honest answers. Overall, tonight was another frustrating night for me. I guess sometimes I get lonely here and I my mind starts to wander. Anyway -- I'll have to take some time and figure all of this out. I hate when I get this way. I had an interesting conversation with one of my ex b/f's tonight. It was nice to talk to him again. He sounds as if he's having issues as well. I guess we all go through this. Oh well .... I'll deal. Otherwise everything else is going great for me. I love the new job and I'm happy to be closer to home. I miss going up to the city to work, but I think I can deal with spending weekend time there instead. I was able to see some of my friends tonight at our usual Tuesday get together, but I wasn't really in all that great of a mood. I know that I certainly telegraph it when I'm in a bad mood. I guess after the 3rd person asked me what was up I decided that I better just smile rather then be berated with questions. God knows that no body like to listen to a bitter betty squawk about gay life. Oh well .. I really want to write some more, but I'm getting a bit tired, so I think I'm going to get to bed.
