<%@ Register TagPrefix="uc1" TagName="blog_toplinks" Src="/blog_toplinks.ascx" %>
<%@ Register TagPrefix="uc1" TagName="blog_footer" Src="/blog_footer.ascx" %>
Rich Brown - Living My Life Out Loud!
Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Tuesday, January 30, 2001
@WORK. All I can say is that I am so tired. I was only able to get a few hours of sleep last night and it was definitely not enough. I need to get some sleep tonight before I get run down and sick.
So -- I guess I would say that I had a pretty good night aside from stressing over finances and moving.
First things first. I went to view a room for rent last night in the Richmond District. It was a nice place. The apartment was very nice, hardwood floors, pretty large and 1-block from Golden Gate park. The bedroom for rent was very spacious. Much larger then I would have thought for a room. Although I have to admit, moving to the city into a older apartment will be quite a change for me after coming from having my own apartments. Gary was the person leasing it and looking for another roommate. He was around my age and also gay. This would make things easier for me. He seemed like a great guy as well, definitely someone that I could hang out and be friends with. Anyway the problem is that the apartment is available for a February 1 move in. I am required by my leasing company to give a 30-day notice before I move out -- so there is no way financially I can swing paying for rent at my current place in the amount of $2750 as well as moving into a new place and being able to pay rent, security deposit, and moving expenses. I was not really prepared to move until March 1.
Because of my overwhelming personality Gary offered me the room last night as well. Ok well maybe I wouldn't go that far, but we did seem to click well. But after much pondering and thought, I had to let him know this morning that I was going to be unable to take it. He left me a message saying that he had another offer for me -- but I've been in meetings all day and haven't talked to him about it yet.
Even if I could take it, one downside to this apartment is it's location. The Richmond district is nice and close to the park, however it's further for me to work, and it's further from the heart of San Francisco. If I'm going to live in San Francisco I really want to live in a more metropolitan area. Somewhere I can be within walking distance to restaurants, stores and coffee shops. I'm not picky about the area, just so I feel safe and there are things close by. I think I would ideally like to live somewhere either around the Market/Castro/Noe area or maybe in a SOMA loft since all modes of public transportation are near there.
This all comes about because I no longer want to spend $2750 on rent. I was supposed to move into this apartment with D and it would have been a little easier to stomach, however since D and I broke up right before our move here, I had to stomach the rent and move in. The other deciding factor was that we had 2 dogs and this place was one of the few that allowed for them. Now that I don't have the dogs, it provides me with a great deal more flexibility then I had before.
Part of the stress of last night was when I got home to do my finances. After paying rent, car payment, car insurance, and student loans there is nothing left. Negative balance. I'm getting myself into a hole and for the money I make and the point of life I'm at, I should not be going through this. I believe this should be the least of my worries at this point. This is why I decided to move in with roommates. To make the cost of living in the bay area more reasonable. Oh well .. I guess I'll just have to stomach it for another month. I'm going to give my apartment complex the 30-day notice tomorrow and hope that they can rent it out so I can avoid having to pay a 1-month lease break fee. I should definitely be able to find a place to live around March 1, but if I don't I will just put my things into storage and move in temporarily with a friend.
So -- anyway enough of that. Following going to see this apartment, I met up with Justin for dinner. He had been wanting to take me to dinner for a while now, so we agreed on tonight. We both got dressed up. He was in a tie and looked really nice. I parked and we met up in Castro. We were going to go down to Fisherman's Wharf and go to dinner there, however by then it was already 9:30 and we were both starving so we decided to go somewhere near Union Square. We hopped on the Muni and when down to Market & Powell and walked up to the Cheesecake Factory. It was fairly late, so the crowd was dying down and we didn't have to wait very long for a table. I had never been to the Cheesecake Factory here in SF, but I have been to the one in Chicago so I knew what to expect. We had appetizer and dinner and desert it was very good. Overall we had a good time. I really enjoy spending time and talking to Justin. It felt very comfortable for us to sit and chat and laugh. I don' t know why I didn't feel this level of comfort while we were "together". I asked him after dinner why it thought it was that I felt closer to him now then the whole time we were together. His opinion was that he believed because we were not focusing on us as a couple but rather just as friends hanging out and having a good time, it made it easier and less stressful for us both. The atmosphere was more relaxed and I had a really good time.
After dinner I took Justin over to show him the area of the apartment that I looked at earlier in the evening. I wanted his opinion. He showed me some routes near there and how to get around. I still think it was slightly further then I wanted to be from the city, but I was thinking about compromise.
I then drove him back to his place in Daly City. I decide to go up for a little bit, even though it was midnight. We ended up chatting in his room for a while what I should do with my apartment and my overall fears. It was good to have someone like Justin to talk to about this. Someone who could give me an unbiased opinion and help me sort out all of the details. I ended up falling asleep there until about 4am. He had his first day back to school this morning so I decided when I awoke at 4am, to get up and go home. I didn't feel as thought I had gotten any sleep. I knew that I was going to have to go home and lay down for a while. We parted and then I went home.
It was an interesting and fun evening, but I'm tired of the stress of this apartment. I have resolved to do whatever is necessary for me to move out at the end of February. I need to do this for my own sanity and well being. First thing this morning I went to my complex leasing office and talked to one of the girls there. I needed a copy of my lease to see what penalties I would incur, and I also needed to let them know of my intentions and see what options I had. I spoke with Michelle and she was very accommodating of my situation. She told me to give my notice and hopefully they would be able to rent my apartment by the end of February. I hope they can work something out. I really don' t want to have to pay them $2750 to break the lease. What a waste of money. I need to try and find a storage unit this week so that I can start gradually moving things over there a little at a time.
Justin is coming down later and we are going down to Mountain View to hang out with our friends for the usually Tuesday tea gathering. I don't want to be out late tonight as I really feel that I need to get some sleep. Well it's been an interesting week so far. Hopefully things will slow down a little and I can get some rest.
I do have something funny. I have been finding out about more and more people that have been reading my journal. I find it slightly amusing at the number of people that are reading it on a regular basis. I sometimes don't understand why people would want to know every little detail of my life, but I enjoy it just that much more knowing that I'm not the only one who is getting anything out of this. I write because it makes me feel better and helps me to reflect a bit. I think others read it because they like to share in my experiences and feelings. To find out what is new in the life of Rich and see what drama has yet come about on this day. Maybe it's because this is real life and NOT fiction. Seems that lately with the success of such TV shows as MTV's Real World, and Survivor people want content that is "real" and not fiction. I guess that is the same as reading my journal. The content is "real" and it gives some small insight into my life. Oh well .. keep reading and I will keep writing.
Well I better get back to work ... though I'd rather crawl under my desk and sleep for a few years ...
