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Rich Brown - Living My Life Out Loud!
Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Tuesday, February 06, 2001
@WORK. I'm a bit tired today. Every day during the week I never can seem to get enough sleep. I have to stop relying on the weekends to sleep all day because it is really limiting my free time when I don't get out of bed on Saturday until 1pm. Anyway enough of that.
So -- Happiness -- Let's discuss this concept. What is happiness? What makes someone happy? What makes me happy?
When I started writing in my journals back in 1991, I did so because it provided me an outlet for stress. A way to help me clear my thoughts and mind. A way for me to get out of my head what I really wanted to say. Ultimately I write because it makes me happy. There are so few things in a persons life that make them happy. I guess my biggest question to myself is does happiness come from the things we have or the things we do? Or maybe is it a combination of both? I think the only person that can honestly answer this question is myself. I have engaged in conversation with many people regarding this question, but everyone has a different viewpoint.
Only I myself can define what it is that is going to make me happy. I am at a point in life where I want to be happy and I'm striving to find that which will do so. I'm not so sure that material possessions are something that is going to do that. Granted I can be somewhat materialistic, and I enjoy having nice things, but maybe all of these material things just bring us a short-term satiety. Because it seems to me that if we actually gained any long-term happiness from material possessions we would not be so driven to keep acquiring new ones. We would be content with that which we already have.
I'm at a crossroad in my life. I'm at a crossroad where I have to decide if it is important to have money, and be able to buy a house and acquire possessions, or is it important to just live life. Take a chance and life. I'm not sure how to answer that question.
All of this revolves around my move to San Francisco. I found a place, but it's a big compromise for me. I'm used to having my own place and having all of my material possessions with and around me. In moving to this room in the city I would be taking much of what I have and putting it into storage. Thus only leaving room for the necessities. Being one that is always used to having these things, I'm naturally questioning if I am making the right decision. I guess I can take some comfort in knowing that nothing is permanent and I can always make another change if I'm not happy.
Ok -- well I want to write more but I really don't have the time right now as I have to get back to work. I will continue this later.
