Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001
@ Work
I haven't really felt like writing much lately because I've been a bit under the weather and also haven't been in the mood to sit in front of the computer for any amount of time. I was out of the office Monday afternoon and all of Tuesday. I just slept most of the afternoon yesterday to try and get caught up on my sleep and help this cough to go away.
I spoke with Danny for a little bit today. He was telling me that he has finally decided to get his own apartment in Salinas. As he was describing it to me I felt a little jealous. Sometimes I really do miss having my own apartment.
It's amazing how much a persons perspective can change in one year. Prior to moving out here to San Francisco I had never lived in an old apartment since I left college. Part of the appeal of Phoenix was that everything was new. Every apartment I had in Phoenix had just been built and I was the first or at most the second occupant in that apartment. I remember when I first moved up to Foster City I was so disappointed when I saw the apartment I was moving into. The complex was around 15 years old and the apartment was far from being brand new. The kitchen was somewhat dirty, had older appliances and was just not as nice as what I was used to coming from Phoenix.
I look back now and I have to laugh at how much my attitude has changed. I've become much more accepting and less picky. I'm now living in a flat in a 100+ year old building. The kitchen and bathroom is older and the paint is layered on so thick that when you try and hammer a nail in the wall it just bounces back at you. And the most ironic part is that I don't mind any of this. I enjoy the location, I like the flat, and I've now grown accustomed to not having the best and newest place. I think back to that apartment in Foster City and I would love to having something like that now in the city. After everything that I've been through in the last year it wouldn't seem to be a bad place at all now. I think the type of places where I used to live in Phoenix are more of a dream here in the Bay Area due to the cost of living and simple fact that everything is older.
Mostly I miss 3 things about having my own place and living on my own. The first would be my own space and privacy. Living with roommates you have your own room, but you really do loose the feeling of your own space and you also only have a slight amount of privacy provided to you by secluding yourself in your room. Second would be that I miss having my own place to decorate and put things the way I want. I really hate having many of my things in storage to where I can't use them. Third would be that I miss having a fireplace. If there was one thing that I really enjoyed about my apartment in Foster City and also some of the apartments I had in Phoenix, it was having a fireplace. I love to just throw on a couple of logs and lay on the couch and watch TV. It was even nice when I had a date or even friends over. It really set a nice mood in the apartment.
I know that there are so many things I gain by living in the city and sharing a place with someone but deep down I'd still love to have my own place again. I think given a choice everyone would want that option.
