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Rich Brown - Living My Life Out Loud!
Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Tuesday, October 09, 2001
@ Work
So much for having a mellow weekend. Friday started out with Steven, Philip and I having dinner at Zao on 16th and Market. It was good but didn't settle too well in my stomach. We then headed over to the Bar on Castro where Steven met up with his cousin Bonnie who came up to the city to hangout. After a few drinks there we headed down to Martooni's. We had a few cocktails and and then headed up to the Cafe around 1 am to grab a drink before they closed. I was feeling a little down by the time we got to the Cafe, not sure why. Mainly I think it was because I was just thinking that it seems really hard to actually meet someone in this city. Anyway I happened to run into an old friend, Casey, and he hugged me and made me feel good. He pretty much made my night. After that Steven and Bonnie left and then Philip and I walked outside only to have Philip remember that he left his jacket and keys in Steven's car. We called Steven and left a message for him and started walking back to my place. Philip sort of sensed there was something wrong with me because I was being quiet. He put his arm around me and asked what was bothering me. There was something that I had been wanting to tell him but it just seemed that the right time never really came up. For some reason I felt it was the right time and I decided to fill him in on everything that's been going on with me. It was a very bonding thing for us both. I felt closer to him and he said later that he felt much closer to me now. We went back to my place where Steven showed up and we had some cheesecake and just sat around and talked. Steven and Philip decided just to crash at my place so we all pretty much passed out on the bed until Steven decided to get up and sleep on the floor instead.
Saturday morning started out with us getting ready at my place, heading over to Philip's place so that he could get ready. We then went to grab some breakfast on 24th street before we headed down to Foster City so that I could drop off something in my storage unit and stop at target. We went down to Foster City and then stopped over at my office where I showed Philip and Steven where I worked. From there we decided to take a trek down to the Stanford Shopping Center and walk around. It was a really nice day outside and a great day to get out of the city. We spend a few hours just window shopping and walking around before we headed back up to the city. On the way back up we stopped again in Foster City so that I could get some things from Target that I needed for the house. We got back to Philips place around 7:45, just in time for him to get ready for his date with Brett at 8 pm. From there Steven and I went back to my place, parked and dropped my things off. We then headed up to Squat & Gobble Cafe to have some salads. We thought we would have a quite night and maybe watch a movie or something but after dinner we ended up going out and meeting Merced at the Bar on Castro. Seems like we always end up there. We spent about 3 hours there talking and having drinks and then we decided to go down to the Lone Star. We had a drink there and Merced wanted to go to the Power House. I wasn't really thrilled about this choice but I since Steven drove Merced's car down I didn't really have much say. We went over and hung out for a little bit. Steven and I stood out in the front of the bar while Merced went to hang out in the back for a bit. We weren't there very long because the bar was closing within about 20 minutes of us getting there. From there we went back to my place and Steven and I crashed.
Sunday was the Castro Street Fair. We were going to try and head over at 11 because we were going to leave early to go to Mass. Being that Steven and I were a bit tired, we choose to sleep a little longer. Justin eventually showed up at my place around 11 to wake us up. We got ready and then headed over around Noon. It was fun just walking around and watching people. It was pretty mild and just a normal street fair. We ran into Philip and Brett a few time and eventually they came over to hang out with us. Later in the afternoon we stood over at the dance area for a little bit and then headed back to my place to get ready for Mass. Philip, Steven and I wanted to go to Mass just to see what it was all about. Neither Philip or I had been to 1015 Folsom and I was really curious. We got there around 6 pm and waited in line until about 6:20 before we made it inside. The only thing that scared the shit out of me was the fact that I was so stupid in taking that pill of Ecstasy inside with me. The doormen pat you down pretty good and I was really afraid that I would get caught even though I hid it pretty well. When I got to the doorman he patted me down an asked me what was in my pocket. I didn't think that anything was in my pocket but when I reached in I pulled out three condoms ... how embarrassing. At least it wasn't something else. Anyway what I didn't know that the rest of the world seemed to know was that you take your pills outside before going in. Duh. I wasn't sure if I was going to take it anyway that's why I wanted to take it in with me. Once I got inside and saw the club, I knew I was going to have a good time. The space was much more then I expected. The laser lights, overhead lights, and music was quite spectacular. I really enjoyed myself. We ran into Jose and he hung out with us for most of the night. Here I thought Jose was such a straight laced guy and he was rolling as well. What a crack up. We also ran into Bryan but he was pretty much in his own world, as usual. I had a really good time just dancing and listening to the music. We headed out around 11 because Steven was totally sober and getting tired. I could have stayed longer but I didn't mind going. I know that if I was totally sober I wouldn't have lasted as long as Steven. When I got home I was still a bit jittery from the Ecstasy. I knew that I was going to have trouble getting to sleep but It wasn't too bad though, I watched some TV for a while and then finally did manage to get some sleep.
So it was a pretty full weekend for all of us. I think I'm going to take this coming weekend off from the club and bar scene. I really just want to hang out and relax a bit. I want to be fresh and well rested for Halloween and my birthday.
I really need to get to the gym tonight because I'm feeling guilty for not going at all this weekend. I really wanted to go on Saturday, but we just ran out of time. I went 5 times last week and I'm going to start making it a habit to go at least 5 times a week. That is the only way I will be able to achieve my goals. When I first started going to the gym I really used to like going alone, because I felt like it was time to myself, but I have to admit that I'm really glad when Steven goes with me. He really helps to motivate me to go and helps me with the weights.
As for Steven I really have to say that I admire his courage. He is going through a really tough time in his life right now. He and his b/f of 11 years are in the process of a not so pleasant breakup. He has taken the worse shot that his ex can throw at him and has still managed to keep himself composed and level headed. I love that about him. I know that it's tough and to an extent I can understand what he is going through. It's never easy to be in this situation, but I know that he is strong and can get through. I'm glad that I can be there for him and I hope he knows that he can ask anything of me ... no matter what. Steven really has become my best friend and only want the best for him. He deserves someone that will treat him right and give him the love that he deserves. I hope he doesn't ever forget this.
As for me, I can sense that I've started to be a little moody lately. I think I'm getting to the point where I really want to meet someone and go on a date. I just like the whole newness about meeting someone and getting to know them. I totally know that I'm not ready or for that matter want a relationship right now, it's just that I want some attention from someone once and a while. Although I'm not going to go and start looking for a date, I figure it will happen eventually. I just have to snap myself out of this foul mood that I get in sometimes about it and be patient. In the meantime .. back to the gym!
Well anyway I better get back to work.
