Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Straight Couple Traditions
@HOME. So today Justin and I were tasked with going to pick up a gift for the "Couple's Wedding Shower" that we were invited too this afternoon. I have to say, I hadn't really given it much thought until I was standing in Williams Sonoma today with the Wedding Registry in hand. "THIS SUCKS!" ... That's pretty much what I felt like screaming out to everyone in the store, but for fear of being carted out of the mall by security, I refrained. I had the realization of, no it wasn't the outrageous prices of that store, but the fact that it's just taken for granted that the straights get to have these little pre-wedding parties where everyone showers them with gifts. Now as if that weren't enough, it's not just the shower gifts, but then the actual wedding gifts, then the baby showers, then the anniversary parties, it's just a never ending black hole of breeder gift giving parties. I mean I guess I realized all this before but it just really hit home with me today. I told Justin as we were in the store that it really #1, pisses me off that we can't get married and have shit like this, and #2, that we probably don't even have many other friends that would actually buy us anything even if we could have a wedding.
Ok now before some of you comment and tell me that we can have a ceremony and have a shower, I know that. It's just the principle of the whole thing. I hate to be bitter about all this, because I'm usually not, but it just sucks that we can't get married if we choose too. I don't want a civil union, I don't want a domestic partnership, I want to get married, have a big fucking blow out bash, and I want lots of gifts dammit. But most of all I want to be able to say to the world, this is Justin ... he's my husband ... I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with him ... I love him ... we were married on {insert date}. But at this rate that's never going to happen here in the states. We're surrounded but a bunch of fucking religious fanatics that have nothing better to do then worry about how, two people who love each other and want to get married, is going to launch the world into chaos and flush life as we know it down the toilet.
Is it too much to ask of the straights, that before criticizing all of us as a whole, that maybe some time is taken first to meet some gay and lesbian couples and see that we're really not all that different. All we want is to have the freedom to live our lives, be happy and have our relationships recognized by EVERYONE.
Now the last thing I'm going to say about all this, before I raise my blood pressure anymore tonight, is I know we could technically go to Canada and get married as one of my best friends, Andrea, keeps telling me, but what fucking good will that do unless I move there? And lets get this straight sister, while I really want to visit your hometown of Toronto, and as much of a wonderful and beautiful place I'm sure it is, I really don't foresee myself living in the frozen tundra, or Canada as you refer to it.
Anyway I digress. I really didn't mean to go on that rant right now, but I did. So a pastry cutter, a spoongula, and a gift card from Williams and Sonoma later, we spent the evening watching our friends Don and Kris open presents brought to them by all the other married couples, and 2 gay couples who will never know what that experience truly feels like.
Maybe so, but (if and) when I get married, I actually don't want a wedding shower or a baby shower or any of those gift-giving ceremonies, in fact, I'd prefer to keep the wedding gift-giving to a minimum because I'm embassed to invite someone to share such a moment with me and expect them to shell out any amount of money for it... Their presence is damn well all I want!
Maybe I'm weird??
Eve
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Eve @ Tuesday, March 08, 2005 7:08:00 AM
