Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
New Lawn Mower and Kicked Out of Charlie's
@HOME. So as we all know last weekend was Justin's birthday. Now that was a party we'll all remember for a long time. Anyway, Justin wanted to go shopping yesterday to use the gift cards he received from our friends, so after we primped and preened (one never knows who one may run into so it's always wise to look one's best), we headed over to the Chandler Mall. A few short laps around the mall and several bags of clothes later we were done.
My turn. I needed to go to Lowes Home Improvement Store (I know my little nosepickers, you're all thinking right now "Oh my, how incredibly butch of him ..." but let me assure you, there are some bigger queens to set foot in that store honey, and trust me on that, I've seen them in there!) Anyway I needed to get a new lawn mower. Now mind you my lawn is a square of maybe 10 feet by about 20 feet total, so a monster lawnmower isn't really required here. But hell girls, who said anything about required here, we're talking about fashion even if it is a lawn mower right? I really wanted one of those big riding mowers (oh yes, this one likes to ride!) so that I can put up the canopy without need for my garden sun hat, and ride in style with a cool glass of iced tea while I mow the lawn. P-u-lease ... no self respecting gay man in suburbia would be caught dead getting all sweaty outside with a push mower. Afterall, you never know who's going to drive by now do you? Anyway, as I said that's what I wanted, but I settled for the more reserved and price conscious mid-level push mower. I know what you're all thinking ... and I didn't want to say it, but I'm really performing a community service here by getting the smaller mower, I'm doing all the neighborhood women a favor by letting them see me and my hot body outside working up a sweat with the push mower. *LOL* Or not. Anyway it's my fantasy so stuff it!
So after getting my new lawn mower and returning home we decided to clean up and head out for a few drinks at our usual watering holes. We met up with Anthony at Amsterdam for a cock-tail.
Geez Justin ... did you get Crest white strips without telling me?
Awwww how cute ... oh yeah and Justin too.
We also ran into Kennelle ... and he was quite busy having fun with his friends!
After a few cock-tails, we decided to head up to Charlie's to continue our fun for the evening. Justin wasn't really feeling it, so he had a hard time sucking down that last drink. As for me, well all I can say is "it tasted so good on my lips..." enough said.
So anyway we get to Charlie's where nothing was too out of the ordinary. The three of us headed back to our usual spot in the outside corner. I headed to the bar to grab a few beers since it was quickly approaching last call. (This one doesn't want to be without her drinky-poo in the event last call happens and my liver is still parched if ya know what I mean)
So as it turns out Justin wasn't really drinking fast so I had to hold his spare beer in my back pocket, where I usually keep my spare beer but had already finished it. Last call came around and shortly after the 2 AM bar scan which means the bartenders walk around and collect everyone's unfinished drinks. Well as luck would have it they overlooked the one I had in my back pocket. For the moment, anyway.
We headed inside for a breath of cool air and to check out the sights. While we were standing inside, Justin and I thought it would be wise to finish off that last beer and placed it up on the railing. About 10 minutes goes by and this flashight is all of a sudden shining in our faces. It's one of the bouncers hovering over us saying that someone complained that we were hiding beers in our pockets. Um ok ... that was so like 5 minutes ago but whatever. So he insisted on using his flashlight to inspect us and our pockets. He quickly apologized when he realized that in fact we didn't have any beer on us and left. I was just mad I didn't get the full body cavity search. ;-P So being the dumbass that I was being, I jokingly picked up the empty bottle off the side rail and pretended to put it back in my pocket. I didn't I returned it to the side rail. Yet another 10 minutes goes by and a different bouncer comes over our way, picks up the bottle off the side rail and starts ranting about how someone saw us hiding beers and there's a reason why they have to collect them at 2 AM. Blah...Blah...Blah. Ok, yeah but that was so 20 minutes ago. By this point none of us felt like arguing or trying to disagreeing with him, so we just stood there with that "yeah? so? your point?" look on our faces. I guess he wasn't thrilled, so he promptly informed us that "we're going to need you guys to leave the bar!" Um ok. Talk about a buzz kill. So that's my story ... we got kicked out of Charlie's and it wasn't even for being drunk. Lame.
At this point, it was 3 AM and Anthony had to head home. Justin and I headed over to Genny's for a quick bite to eat before we headed back to our side of town. Well that's another story. This guy who was there alone and obviously completely betty-ford intoxicated, was sitting a few seats down from us us at the counter. He was so drunk that he could barely stay on the counter stool. He kept up this cycle of swaying to either side which eventually ending up in a position where he was leaning back with his head completely thrown back, mouth wide open and passed out cold. Everyone was laughing at him in between the few times a waiter would come up and smack his hand down on the counter to wake him and ask him if he needed anything more. Then the cycle would start all over again. Stop the train and let me and him both off. Justin and I almost fell off our stools since we were laughing so hard at both him and the look on the guys face that was sitting next to him. I did try to snap a photo but I just couldn't get a good shot without being completely obvious about it. Oh well, maybe next time.
So that folks was our adventure for the weekend. As for now I'm off to test out the new mower and cut my lawn. Ladies get ready, here I come ;-P Cheers.
