Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
An Olive Branch Extended
Tonight was an interesting evening for me. As I was getting ready to leave for the gym I was contacted by someone from my past, someone whom I've thought about every now and then, but whom I have not spoken too in many years.
Due to some very unfortunate events, mainly because I was completely out of control, out of my mind and an utter asshole at the time, we stopped communicating and lost any chance to continue a real friendship. At the time, I had my reasons for everything that happened and this person too had similar reasons for discontinuing our friendship. My friends who know me well know that I do not have many regrets in life, but this however has been something that has been in the back of my mind for years and my handling of our situation was one of the few regrets I have had.
I guess when I think it about now, what amazes me the most is that how something which seemed to be completely rational at the time couldn't have been any further from it. Somewhat like the movie Sliding Doors, it's amazing how small choices and decisions in life actually have a ripple effect which alters not only your own life, but perhaps also the lives of others around you. Choices I made in the past, emotionally bad choices to be exact, led me to a place which I am not proud, a place of anger and bitterness. While I don’t wish to get into any details, these choices ended up becoming a major turning point in my life which influenced me in many ways that I can't even begin to explain.
I'm grateful that this person extended the olive branch, made an effort to contact me and provided me the opportunity to explain a little and more importantly, finally apologize. I don't know if it's too late for an apology, but it's long overdue. It will never change what happened in the past but will hopefully be seen as a genuine gesture on my part to start making up for several really bad choices.
Deep down I hope this person knows that despite the past events between us, I’m a good man, I’ve tried hard to live a decent life and I truly am sorry. I’m personally happy to finally have certain emotional loose ends tied up in my mind, and would like to hopefully keep in contact with this person in the future.
I believe we all have at least one or two regrets from our past, and the postive side of it is to hopefully learn and grow from it.
It sounds like you are sincere and straight up with this and I wish you all the luck renewing this connection Rich.
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Jude @ Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:43:00 PM
It's great when you can go back and fix something. But sometimes it takes a long time to get to that point. Good for you having the wisdom and humility to admit your errors and taking the right steps to correct it. Even if things are never again 100% it's a positive move that will benefit both of you.
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by potusol @ Saturday, April 15, 2006 12:50:00 AM
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all live 100% regret free lives?
The fact that you got to clear things up and give an apology is wonderful. Hopefully this person will recognize that and the two of you can start mending the broken edges.
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Tracey @ Saturday, April 22, 2006 7:40:00 PM
