Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Philosophical Discussion of the Day
You know it's funny that when I posted my question and discussion the other day regarding what word would your friends use to describe you, it prompted a number of comments and feedback. It's still something that resonates in my mind, but to put all of you who know me at ease, the context of that topic was not prompted by any of my friends unintentionally categorizing me that way. It really was just a topic of discussion I was having over dinner and I thought it would be a good point to make here on my blog. Something for people to think about. I tend to enjoy saying things that make people think.
So the last thing I'll say about that previous post is what I believe would be the answer to that question for me personally. Many of you who read my blog know me very well while some of you only know me through my postings and photos. I do know that if you polled my closest friends, you would probably get several different answers about what word(s) best describe me, but I can guarantee that 'gay' would not be in their list of top choices. While I am gay, it's not the only thing that defines me, nor is it the primary focus of my life. A few words that I think would be used to describe me would be 'driven', 'motivated', 'funny', 'sarcastic', 'loyal', 'procrastinator', 'stubborn', 'controlling', and 'obsessive'. Maybe even 'asshole' at times depending on which of my friends you ask. I do recognize that while I have a number of good traits, I do have several negative ones too, but hey no one is perfect right?
So now onto other things. While I say that being gay is only a part of what makes up Rich Brown, I do have to admit, while it doesn't completely define me as a person, it is something that influences many aspects of my life and thinking. I was talking to Mark for a bit today and I was telling him how much I feel like my life has changed for the better since I've embarked on this new path in my life. One of the main points I brought up with him was the simple fact that I'm completely out and open in my life these days and I could never go back to pretending to be something I'm not, straight and single. Something that I had done for many years since my University days for fear that my true secret identity would somehow stifle my career and social relationships.
I had a similar conversation with Jerry earlier today about this too. Jerry and I agree how it's almost a responsibility for us (gay & lesbians) these days to be out in our everyday lives and be publicly visible in society. Only when we are visible to the masses can people begin to understand that the differences between all of us are infinitesimally small and in the end we all really want the same things in life. To be happy, successful, perhaps have a family, and live our lives without fear, regret or repression.
I look back on my life over the last 10 years or so, and while I did what I felt was necessary to further my career, I know now that I will never again hide who I am for the sake of some else's comfort level. It's never really something that's easy to deal with especially when you meet new people, but I've found some liberating sense of freedom these days in telling people that I am indeed not single, but in a long-term relationship with my partner of 6 years, Justin. It sort of throws it right out there and ends the need to answer any further questions that might make either party uneasy.
With all of this said, it's really a personal choice for me, and I would never impose my feelings upon anyone else. I believe in free will and free choice and I think people have to come to conclusions like this on their own. I can completely understand there are cases of gay men and women in other countries who face uncertain consequences with the revelation of their true sexual orientation, and to these people I feel truly sorry you have been put into such a situation. When it comes to basic survival, then of course it's wise to do whatever is necessary. However, for those of us here in the United States who are lucky enough to be living in the land of opportunity, I would challenge anyone who is not out to co-workers, friends and family to seriously think of what a better world it could be if everyone would come out and help enlighten the masses in this world.
Ok, maybe this isn't so much of a philosophical discussion, but more of a small rant on my part, but you get my point here. I'd love to see more people come out and be open with both themselves and their lives. I've made a conscious decision to not hide my identity on the Internet, to post photos of myself and friends, and write about my life and what I'm thinking. I don't censor myself nor do I go out of my way anymore to create a false facade in public. My real name indeed is Rich Brown and I want people to know me for who am I, my interests and what I have to say. These days I don't offer any apologies for who I am and I'm proud to say that I am living my life as a somewhat socially-well-adjusted, out gay man with a great group of friends and a small, somewhat unhealthy interest in very strong mixed drinks. Cheers.
