Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Happy Halloween & Happy Birthday to Me!
Yes I know it's a shameless self birthday promotion, but I think I've earned the right for shameless self-promotion, and this time have a little bit of a story to tell.
I guess I was spoiled early on since my birthday coincided with Halloween and Trick-or-Treating. It was always such a big deal for me as a child and it was fun growing up having a Halloween birthday complete with party, cake and going out with my father to bug the neighbors for candy. What more could a child want on his birthday? I was fortunate.
As I finally grew up and left home for University, my 21st birthday was the last real birthday that ever meant anything special to me. I was one of the first of my circle of friends who turned 21, so some of the older guys in my fraternity took me out for shots and a drink. It was a fun night bar hopping from bar to bar, taking in all the different Penn State watering holes, and getting drunk from the free shots and drinks. It was my introduction into the college bar scene and a special night to finally turn 21.
The one thing I've never actually told anyone before this post is that on the night of my 21st birthday, I snuck out of my fraternity house and had one of my first 'gay' experiences at Penn State. After I returned home drunk with my fraternity brothers, they put me to bed and retired to their own rooms. To this day I still can remember how drunk I was that night. I don't know if it was just the alcohol but I finally got the guts to sneak out of the fraternity house and walk over to the Old Main building, notorious for being a very 'cruisey' gay area at night, and a place I had always avoided because of my fear and denial of being gay. Almost immediately after getting there I was approached by a cute, young grad student who lived alone and asked me if I would like to go home with him. I remember walking back with him to his studio where I proceeded to first get sick all over the place and then after he took care of me and cleaned me up, I spent the night with him. To this day I've never told that story or talked about what happened that night to anyone. I never did see that boy on campus again after that night.
So my 21st birthday was really it for me. After a string of several miserable milestone birthdays, I really stopped caring much about celebrating my birthday. I've just grown accustomed to not doing anything special for it. On my 25th birthday I sat alone in the hotel restaurant in Laurel, Maryland where I treated myself to a steak for dinner and then went up to my room and to bed. On my 30th birthday, I had just moved to San Francisco just 18 days before my birthday and didn't know anyone, so I left the office, went home, played with the dogs for a bit in the living room, watched some TV and then went to bed. I realized on that day that I had no real friends in my life and I also realized that I didn't care about my birthday anymore. Little did I know, immediately following my 30th birthday was going to bring forth one of the most emotional years of my life, and the start of my life as I know it today.
So anyway, I don't make a big deal of my birthday anymore, but I'm very content these days knowing that I have a loving partner, some very dear friends who care so much about me, a good career, and a damn good life. I've always said life is all about the journey, not the destination, and so far it's been a good one. I'm looking forward to this new year, where it takes me and the new experiences it will bring.
rich, i have been reading your blog for a month or so now and this by far is the most i've really gotten to know you. it left me wishing it were longer and told more.
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Anonymous @ Wednesday, October 31, 2007 5:12:00 AM
Happy Birthday! Go buy yourself a car!
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Jerry Timms @ Wednesday, October 31, 2007 2:01:00 PM
Well on this 40th birthday milestone, we're so happy that we have you in our lives! Happy Birthday, go and get yourself a Beamer!
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Blaine @ Wednesday, October 31, 2007 11:51:00 PM
You are so right about life's journey Rich, and your own life sounds just like your first name. Rich in love that's for sure!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Jude @ Friday, November 02, 2007 5:43:00 PM
Happy Belated Birthday Rich!!
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Dominic @ Sunday, November 04, 2007 5:35:00 AM
Happy Belated.
|______________________________________________________________________ posted by Jeremy Ryan @ Sunday, November 11, 2007 1:06:00 AM
