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Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
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Wednesday, April 25, 2001 |
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@HOME. God what a long day. I just got home about a 1/2 hour ago from work. I just sat down to check my mail and my finances and thought I would write a quick entry.
Things at work have been going really well. I'm so busy and I'm working crazy hours, but I'm learning and I have a great deal of tasks and responsibility. This is the only way I can enjoy my job if I'm learning. So for now I'm happy. At least being very busy at work makes my day go by faster. Anyway -- enough about work.
I have a bunch of things that I could write about in my personal life but for starters I don't really feel like sitting here for very long to detail and explain everything. So just for reference for later I will make some quick notes as to what has been going on in my life ...
- I helped Justin move into his new room this past weekend. It's unbelievable that he managed to get such a large room for only $400 a month. I wish I could pay that little .. I'd have a bunch of money left over.
- Justin is still a big part of my life. I still enjoy spending time with him, teasing him, and having someone to be grouchy with from time to time. I've been trying to be very upfront and honest with him that all I really want right now is to be friends and nothing more. I'm in "me" mode and I just want some time to myself for a while. He says he understands but I still think he wants more from me.
- Justin and I decided that 18th and Castro is "our" corner. Sometimes after going out we stand on the corner and just watch people. You never realized how fun it can be to people watch until you try it. All I have to say is there are some interesting people in San Francisco.
- I joined the 24-hour fitness on Market and Church. I've been "wanting" to get there about 5 times a week, but with my hectic work schedule lately, it's only been amounting to about 2 times a week. Hopefully I can try and get there more. My schedule should flatten out in the next 2 weeks or so.
- I joined an online Social Group with the purpose of meeting new people in the city. I've been involved in the group for about 2 months now and it's a great group of guys. A bunch of us have been meeting up on Sundays for coffee and doing other things together. It's nice to have a group of fun people where you can laugh and be yourself.
- As a result of the Social Group, I've met a bunch of new friends here in the city whom I really enjoy spending time with. Steven, Bee, Merced, Andy, Robert, David, Jesse and a few others. Bee and Steven are becoming two of my closer friends. We have been spending more and more time together doing things.
- My new friends have been showing me some of the "nicer" gay hangouts in SF. You know the type of places that have those dark huddled masses in the back of the bar. The type of place where your just not so sure about drinking from the glassware, so you get a bottled beer. Those places. Anyway .. boy do I have some stories. The things I've seen .. I would never ... Anyway -- it's all good right?
- Lets see ... um ...I'm going to Metropolis on Saturday night! I enjoyed it last time. Hopefully it should be even more fun this time. I think I'd like to buy a vowel! *GRIN*
-Well about the Phoenix - San Francisco debate that's been going on in my head since I moved here in October. Well I'm happy to announce that for now San Francisco has won. And amazingly I've been much happier just coming to a clear decision and not agonizing over it every minute of the day. I decided that I just have to give SF a chance. I know it's more expensive here, but I enjoy going to the beach to watch the sunset, I enjoy having the freedom of walking down the Castro and not worrying about being gay and what people will think of me. I enjoy being in an area where being gay does not make you different, but just merely another one in the crowd. So I've decided to make some cuts to my spending and stick around for a while.
- I talk to Mom every day and I think she is having a really hard time living alone. I know that she misses Dad a great deal. She thinks that if she gets a dog things will be better and she will not feel as alone. I told her that somehow I didn't think Dad would be as easily replaced with a dog. I guess she has to do whatever will help her get through this. I know I miss him terribly, but I can't imagine what she must be going through at this time in her life. She's strong. She may not think it, but she will get through it.
Well that's about it for now. I can't really think of much else that's going on in my life. Every day is a new adventure anymore. I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow. Another exciting day in the life of Rich. Ok -- maybe I'll write more tomorrow. Maybe not. Depends on my mood.
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@Work. You know I start writing this and always something comes up at work. Imagine the nerve of them to think that I should actually be working while I'm at work. Whatever! Anyway I'm getting frustrated because I really wanted to catch up with my writing today but once again I didn't have a chance.
Well I'm going to the Gym at 8 and then I'll be back home. I guess I'll try and take some time tonight to catch up on my life.
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@ Work
Yikes .. well at least tax time is now almost officially over. I spend most of my day yesterday finishing my taxes and doing the 20 loads of laundry that I've let pile up over the past month. Ugh.
Anyway it was a pretty good weekend.
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@ Work
I'm working late to finish up some things. I wanted to write an entry and get slightly caught up with my journal.
Ugh ... What a headache today. I guess I shouldn't have drank so much or stayed out so late last night. Anyway -- it was a totally fun evening. I ended up going to the Beer Bust at Lone Star with Steven and his friends. I was slightly scared at first going in there since this was my first time at a "bear" bar. You know it was so much fun. All of the people there were really nice and just plain funny. I don't think I've laughed so much in a long time. I ended up drinking too much beer.
Steven and I went to the Cafe and danced for a little bit before decided to go and grab a slice of pizza at Marcello's. After the Pizza I met up with Justin as he got done work early. Steven decided he wanted to go so we took him back to his car and then decided to go back out. We first went to Badlands for a little bit. There were some cute guys there. It was fun. Then we decided to walk down to the Cafe. It was sort of crowded but we wanted to dance. I love dancing and they were playing some good music.
Anyway the interesting part of the evening came while we were dancing and checking out ever guy in the place. Lord -- how pathetic were we. Anyway -- first I ran into someone that I hadn't seen in a really long time. His name was Dave. We met when I first moved to SF and he took me to the Castro to show me around a little bit. He was a nice guy, but I guess we both got busy and never really talked again after that. I think we would have made good friends but oh well. Anyway -- he was at the Cafe and came up to me while Justin and I were dancing. Said hello and we chatted for a bit. It was fun. Ok -- so that isn't even the best part of the night.
We are dancing there and this guy walks up to me and says "hey are you guys a couple?" so I reply "yes." Next thing he says is "oh, are you guys interested in a 4-way" So as I pick my jaw up off the floor -- the first thing that comes out of my mouth is "SURE!" I can't believe I just said that. It was so loud in the bar that Justin couldn't hear a damn thing that was said. I told him and he laughed about it because he had just told me earlier that he thought they were also cruising for guys. It was funny. I think the guy was shocked when I said sure. He ran over to tell his b/f. So anyway the guy introduced us to his b/f. They were both cute. The next thing he leans over and says .. do you mind if I kiss your b/f because my b/f wants to kiss you. I was like .. oh ... um... and then I never said anything. Justin just looked at me .. I totally didn't know what to say. I think I was in shock. So here I am just standing there not saying anything. I don't think the guys knew what to say either. I think by me not saying anything they sort of took it as a disinterest. They danced for a while longer and then scooted off the dance floor. It was awkward because I think we had switched interests. Justin was interested in the b/f and I was more interested in the first guy. However, I could tell that it was reversed for them in that the b/f was more interested in me and the first guy in Justin. Oh well I guess it wasn't meant to be. Although it may have been fun.
After that Justin and I decided to go home and go to bed. I was sort of buzzed so after making 2 cans of Beef Stew for Justin and I, we went to bed and I passed out.
I woke up this morning at about 6:45 in desperate need of some water. I got up, had some water and then went back to sleep. Totally forgetting about my car being parked in the street cleaning side for Monday. Ugh ... needless to say I walked out to my car later to find another $30 ticket. My 2nd in 2 weeks. I'm not doing too well with this street parking. I need to remember where the hell I park.
So anyway -- I had a pretty good weekend and now I'm back to the daily grind of the work week. Oh when will it ever end.
I haven't written anything since my last entry after going out to dinner with friends. Many things have changed since then, but I just don't have the time or energy right now to explain everything. Maybe when I have time I will catch up. The most significant thing that has changed is that Justin and I decided to come to an agreement. We decided to have a relationship, but open it up. This is something new for both of us, but I think will be interesting to see how it works. It was also agreed to give each other the space that we both needed and just see how everything works out. I've never done anything like this, but it seemed ok with me, and ok with Justin. I guess only time will tell.
Anyway everything else is going great with me. The job is going well, life is good in general and I don't have any major complaints.
Ok -- well I really should get going. It's almost 8pm. I need to get home and do some laundry.
Chow!
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