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Hello I'm Rich Brown and this is my personal website and blog. I'm just your simple, average, down to earth, professional, out gay man and aspiring circuit boy, living in Phoenix, Arizona with a few things to say while trying to find my place among all the scary, conservative, religious nuts in this sick and twisted world.
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Thursday, February 28, 2008 |
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Evan Wade is Hot!
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Hot ... Evan is my vote for Mate of the Month at DNA Magazine ... Labels: Hot Guys
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You Aren't As Important As You Think!
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Ok, this is a post to everyone who finds it necessary to wear one those bluetooth headsets in public. Listen to me when I say this ... A bluetooth headset it NOT a fashion accessory! You really aren't as important as you think, and frankly you look like a complete dork. Trust me when I say this, because while you might think it's cool, it's really not and everyone around you is pointing at you and laughing at how much of a dork you are.
It seriously bugs me when I see people walking around with these on their head 24x7 as if they have some sort of cybernetic implant or something. It's bad enough to see people wearing them at the gas station or the in the store, but I've seen people wearing them in the movie theatre and in a restaurant when dining. I mean come on get real. The only acceptable time to use one of these headsets is when your driving, in the office or at home. Anywhere that's away from the public eye. It's not acceptable to consider this an accessory to wear out in public. Anywhere. When you step out of your car, take off the headset and leave it in the car and you'll be one step closer to being less of a dork.
Remember this as a rule ... technology is cool but wearing technology doesn't make you cool! Cheers!Labels: Random Thoughts
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008 |
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Just Make It Work People
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Since tomorrow is Valentines Day, I thought I would focus this post on my relationship with Justin.
Justin & I, October 2008 @ the Atlantis Mexican Cruise White Party
You know it's funny because Justin and I often get exuberant praise from people once they find out how long we've been together (over 7 years now.) In the straight community it's not a stretch when people have been together for several years, however in the gay community it's treated almost as a golden anniversary for every year you make it past the first.
I'm not going to lie and say maintaining a relationship is easy because if it was there would be many more long term gay relationships in our community. Relationships, straight or gay are difficult, ask just about anyone. From meeting the right person to figuring out how to get along together without killing each other, it's a complex equation which some people never manage to solve.
I bring all this up because usually after the exuberant praise from people comes the question "What's the secret to making it work?" I've always offered up numerous reasons of how it works for Justin and I and how we've managed to stay together for so long , but when I was thinking about this the other day I finally came to a conclusion of the real reason why it's worked for us for so long. Simply put, we're best friends. I know that might sound a bit too simplistic, but it's really the umbrella for having and maintaining a successful relationship. Because we're best friends we enjoy many of the same interests, we absolutely love hanging out together, and most importantly we communicate with each other. I'm not saying that you should be in a relationship with your best friend because certainly we didn't start out as best friends, however I do believe that if you can grow together as best friends then your relationship will have a good chance at success.
I know that's a simple answer to a complex problem, and I'm not saying that's the end all be all answer. Obviously there are more factors then just being best friends, but it's one hell of a good start. Every gay couple (and happy straight couple for that matter) that Justin and I know who are in long term relationships all share this one common thread, they're best friends. They do things together, love being together and understand the importance of communication. I truly think that after the honeymoon phase is over, if you can’t look at your partner and see someone who is becoming or has already become your best friend, the possibility of maintaining a relationship with that person for the long haul is very slim.
So many people have the wrong idea about relationships. They classify their friends and their partner into separate categories. I’ve even seen many people treat their friends with more common courtesy then they afford their partner. (I can’t say I haven’t been guilty of this myself at times past) Aside from all other requirements of a relationship, if you and your partner treat each other with respect and as friends, nearly anything is possible together.
I’m not trying to come off as if Justin and I have the perfect relationship because we don’t, just ask our friends who balk as us every time we bicker in front of them. I’m not sure if the perfect relationship actually even exists. Like a small child a relationship is a beast of its own nature and it changes over time as do the needs of the individuals in it. A successful relationship requires constant nurturing, commitment and attention. It also requires that both people come to some agreement regarding the combined expectations.
Justin and have had our conflicts over the years but we’ve always managed to get through the tough times and make it work. It’s no secret to anyone that since the beginning we’ve had an open relationship. Our arrangement brings its own complexities to our relationship, and while it’s not something I would advocate for everyone, the arrangement seems to work for us. Trust me when I say that Justin and I have been criticized by many regarding the way we handle our relationship, but it’s always been by the people who can’t seem to maintain anything long term themselves. I usually just laugh to myself and think that if we’re so wrong in our choices then how come we’ve managed to remain best friends and together for nearly a decade. But I digress because that’s a topic better left for another post.
Everyone has their own expectations with a relationship and a belief of what symbolizes a successful relationship but at the end of the day if you look at each other and know that you’re truly happy and in love, then you’re probably looking at your best friend. Cheers and Happy Valentine’s day.Labels: Gay Relationships
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Monday, February 11, 2008 |
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A Weekend To Relax
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Well this was the weekend, the one I've been talking about, the one I've been threatening myself with, the one I've secretly been wanting for some time now. It was a weekend away from the party. I went into this weekend telling Justin that I didn't want to go out to a bar, and I most certainly didn't want to turn this into another house party weekend.
Having worked well over 50 hours by Thursday of last week I decided to take Friday off and start my weekend early. The day was spent sleeping in, cleaning out some clothes, reorganizing my dresser, cleaning out the hall closet and just getting rid of some clutter around the house. Justin got home from work around 6 PM and was shocked to see that I spent my day off working on the house.
Friday evening was spent with Ethan and Tom, at dinner and a movie. We actually met Ethan and Tom out last summer and have known them mostly as fellow party acquaintances, but recently Justin and I have been hanging out with them more and getting to know them in a non-party context. Ethan and Tom have been together just over 9 years and are another example of a gay couple who have found the key to making things work long-term. They live only a few miles from us and we planned on getting together sometime this week which turned into dinner and a movie on Friday night. We met at The Keg Steakhouse in Chandler, which is apparently one of Ethan and Tom's favorite restaurants. Justin and I had heard about The Keg before from Andrea since it started as a Canadian chain, but had never personally been there. Dinner was great and the conversation was even better. Tom is my age and in his second year of dental school after deciding to leave his career as an engineer. Ethan is Justin's age and has decided to take his BS in Biology and go back to school to pursue a career in nursing. It was interesting talking to them both to get their perspective on different issues.
Following dinner we headed over to the Harkins Theatre at the Chandler Fashion Center to catch a move. We agreed on 'The Eye' with Jessica Alba where a woman receives an eye transplant and can see the supernatural. I typically don't choose scary or horror movies as my first choice, but I'm ok dealing with them as long as they're more suspense oriented and don't involve torture, or unnecessary gore. It's not that they scare me; I just don't see the point or entertainment value in the gore that most of these movies focus on and I'd much rather spend my time sitting through something I enjoy like a good drama or sci-fi flick. Anyway the movie was pretty good and while I didn't find it particularly scary there were a few screams from people in the theatre. The movie ended, we thanked Ethan & Tom for a lovely evening said our goodbyes and then Justin and I headed home to bed.
While Justin had to get up and work a 1/2 day on Saturday morning, I personally spent it sleeping in until 10 and then laying in bed catching up on some overdue magazine reading. Once Justin got home we headed out to do a little afternoon shopping in Chandler. It was a beautiful shorts & t-shirt weather, sunny day outside. I'm glad we got out of the house for a while. On the way home we stopped by the grocery store to pick up some food for the week. I stopped by the seafood counter and decided to pick up some sea scallops and shrimp to sauté for us for dinner. This was probably the first Saturday night in many months that we actually stayed home and cooked dinner for ourselves. I sautéed the scallops and shrimp in a garlic lemon sauce with a little angel hair pasta for dinner. It was our first pasta dish in quite some time, and our last high-carb meal for a while since we're immediately going back to our low-carb, high-protein diet and gym routine in preparation for the White Party in April. We've been a little lax with our routine since the Holidays and have decided this week is the time for us to kick start things back into gear again, but I digress. We spent the rest of the evening catching up on a few back episodes of the Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency followed by some independent video game play. It was quite a nice change for us for a Saturday night.
Sunday was a day spent sleeping in by both of us. I got up a little earlier then Justin since he had to work on Saturday and wasn't able to sleep in. I picked up around the house a little bit and got caught up on the laundry. After Justin got up we showered, grabbed the leash and walked up to the park with Berger to get him out of the house and play a bit. I've been promising Berger for some time now that I'd take him to the park, so since it was nice out Justin and I walked up to the park and spent the afternoon playing ball with him. We all enjoyed getting out of the house and spending some time outside. Once back home we had a salad for dinner and spent the evening in front of the TV catching up on a few movies. It was a relaxing day and nice quiet evening together at home.
I can hardly believe that I actually managed to spend a weekend doing exactly what I wanted to do around the house. I joked for a minute with Justin on Saturday night saying I was bored and wanted to go out. I quickly said I was just joking and was completely content at that moment. I realize now how important it is every once and a while to take a break from it all and take some time to do something relaxing. I completely enjoyed the weekend and I'm well rested and I'm looking forward to getting back into our gym routine starting tonight. Cheers.Labels: Gay Life, Random Thoughts
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Thursday, February 07, 2008 |
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What I See When I Look In The Mirror
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It's interesting to me that lately my own perception of myself is actually different then the reality that I see when I look in mirror. I'm not saying it's bad by any means it's just different. As I approach a mirror I have a mental image in my head of what I believe I look like, and with each passing year, I'm almost always startled by the person that I see looking back at me. As far as my personality is concerned I feel like I'm frozen in time, but when I closely examine myself in the mirror I'm suprised to see a different image then I have in my head mentally. The fine lines around my eyes, the extra forehead wrinkle, the undyed grey hair. I wonder if everyone's self perception remains to them stuck in a time past, and if it ever changes to match the person you see staring back in the mirror. I wonder when I look at this person in the mirror, who still resembles the person I was somewhat expecting to see, if I'm being overly critical of the aspects which I know typically represent growing older.
Justin and I before dinner at Sauce a few weeks ago in Scottsdale
Don't get me wrong here, I don't mind getting older as I'm more content in my life and more comfortable in my own skin now then I've ever been. I find it interesting that no matter how things change, our perception of ourself seems to remain timeless.Labels: Gay Life, Random Thoughts
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Goodbye Burn Nightclub
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A few weeks ago was officially the last dance at the Burn Night Club in Phoenix. Open just over a year, the club came to an abrupt but somewhat expected end. It was no suprise that over the past few months the attendance was down and the club was struggling to survive. Amid rumors of closing, the managers tried to pull things together to make it work, however in the end they were unsuccessful. A part of my regular Saturday night routine, I'm sad to see the club go, as there is currently no real replacement in the Phoenix market. I will miss Angela and the staff, and I will miss the weeeknd routine that we've grown used too over the past year. I'm sure something will eventually spring up to take it's place, as that's the history of dance clubs in Phoenix and until then I suppose we'll make do with the smaller dance floors in places like Forbidden and Charlie's. Cheers.Labels: Burn Nightclub Phoenix
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